How low is too low? What is age appropriate when trying to dress and be a little sexy when you are over 40?
We ran this photo of a lovely woman in her late 40′s recently, wearing this overall conservative outfit, except the blouse was low cut.
Is this outfit age-appropriate?
In the comment section one of our readers wrote in, “…can you please address the question, how low can you go when it comes to dressing after 40?”
O.K. you are right, we have not addressed the issue of how much cleavage is too much cleavage. This is a tricky one, since there are a lot of things to factor into that equation.
First off, let’s look at Stacey (seen here). She is dressed fashionably, yet conservatively (long skirt and long sleeves, nothing too tight, fabric is not clingy or form-fitting). She is not extremely busty, and so even though she is wearing a low cut blouse, your eyes are not going to her bust because she has filled the chest area with a bold necklace that draws the eye up. She was also on vacation and traveling, not at work, so we think this look on her is totally appropriate. Moreover, she just happens to be single as well!!! So, we feel she is dressed just fine and age appropriately.
Now, take that same outfit and put it in a corporate work environment and we would say that she should consider changing the blouse to one that is not as sexy.
Here are some things one should consider before going too low:
- Are you busty? (If “the girls” are bigger, make sure you’ve got them into a good fitting bra and you will have to be a little more careful on how much to show.)
- Where are you going? (Are you on play time or work time?)
- What is the fabric you are wearing? (Is it thin, clinging fabric, or one that is stiff?)
- How do you look overall in the outfit, what part is drawing the most attention? (Are you showing bulges in your stomach or waist and how much of your bust is hanging out?)
- Where do you live? (Are you surrounded by flashy, sexy women or would you stand out if you showed a lot of skin?)
- Are you going out in a social setting? What message are you trying to send?
There is no easy answer to this, but if your gut is telling you you’re showing off too much, then you probably are.
However, we do see many women who have great figures that are hiding behind safe clothes and feeling frumpy.
There is a balance to all of this, and there is not an easy one-size-fits-all answer.
So, if you have a question about how you look, feel free to write in with a photo.
Lets keep this discussion going…please comment below!
Your body may have changed a bit and you’re face isn’t as perfectly unlined as it used to be, but you still feel sexy and want to show it. What’s the best way to do that? Don’t try so hard. No need to shout when a whisper will do the trick. Here are 3 great ways to look sexy after 40.
1. Steer Clear of Cleavage Catastrophes
Too much
A little mystery is always sexier than letting it all hang out, especially after 40 when everything is suddenly starting to head a little bit south. While Nigella still has a beautiful bust line, her
dress leaves nothing to the imagination and looks like she’s serving herself up on a platter for a feast. With her ample assets, she would have been better off in something a little less low-cut that emphasized her figure rather than just her enormous breasts.
Better Choice
This glamorous silky brown jersey gown is bold and striking and would make Nigela look like a Greek Goddess. It’s still very sexy, but in a more refined way. (Lauren by Ralph Lauren Donnie One-Shoulder Dress with Ruffle)
Too much
If your bust is more in proportion with the rest of your body and you do want to play it up, then do so by all means. But, do it in a grown-up, not girly way. This satin blue top with its pretty bow is too sweet and baby-doll-like for a mature woman.
Better Choice
Here’s something still feminine and romantic but so much more grown up and figure flattering. The gal in this Diane VonFurstenberg ‘Marla” Slipper Satin Wrap Top isn’t that busty but even on a medium busty gal, this would look fab. Choose something with a little less flounce if you are super busty.
2. Trade Thigh-High for Knee-High
Too Much
Super short skirts with bare legs like this knit mini may have looked fabulous on you before the big 4-0 but even if your body is in good shape, they are going to make you look desperate to be noticed after 40. (Rampage Women’s Belted Sweater Dress)
Better Choice
This length of this cable knit sweater dress is much more appropriate for a midlife gal. We suggest just above the knee to at the knee depending on how you feel about your legs. (Below the knee will make you look old) Pair the skirt with matching tights and boots or shoes for a long lean look. What we want to emphasize here is that you do not need to show off a lot of skin to look sexy. You will actually look sexier showing off your shape and this form fitting knit dress does that beautifully.
3. Avoid Clunky or Junky Shoes
Too Much
A clunky shoe like this may look great on Jessica Simpson, Nicole Ritchie or other twenty-something starlets …but on a grown-up gal, you will look like you raided your daughter’s closet. A thinner platform can be quite lovely, but these giant clunkers with their snakeskin detailing are just too trendy to work.
Better Choice
Our pick would be these sophisticated pumps by Stuart Weitzman, still snakeskin but much more elegant, and very sexy with the open toe.
Too Much
Junky shoes, as in too much hardware or junk hanging off them, can easily make you look trashy not classy after 40. Plastic and zippers may look cute, and fun when you are young and being experimental with your style, but they look cheap and hooker-ish on a boomer woman.
Better Choice
These flirty pumps in sexy silver from Chinese Laundry would be a much better choice. The t-strap adds sexiness but not in a vulgar way.
In summary, try this little trick to look sexy after 40. Instead of thinking, “I want to look sexy” and then going overboard by trying too hard, think, “I want to look gorgeous”, and you will end up looking sexy in a tasteful, age appropriate way.
Want more tips on how to ramp up your style in 2009. Then pick up a copy of The Glam Plan: 12 Easy Steps to take you from Frumpy to Fabulous.
How much cleavage is too much after 40…or is age irrelevant?
 Elizabeth Hurley |
 Nigella Lawson |
Take a look at these photos of Elizabeth Hurley (age 42) and Nigella Lawson (age 48) and let us know whether you think these bossomy beauties look sexy or silly?
