Have you ever been shopping and then on the way home, you start getting that guilty feeling?
Have you ever gotten home and hid your purchase, or vow to take it back the next day?
Did you know that you are not alone?
How do I know this? Because it happens to me and lots of other women I talk to every day!!
Buyer’s Remorse comes in so many forms…
We go to SALE and come home with 3 of the same tops in 3 different colors and wish we hadn’t.
You’re at a fun special Girl’s night out and you buy 4 different purses in all different styles. Why?
You are at the store and think, “I have been looking for ______and here it is, I have to have it!” You get home and ask yourself, “What was I thinking?”
Recently, I (JoJami) experienced buyer’s remorse. With spring here, I went looking for a great looking new flat shoe that I could throw on and run around in;one that was stylish yet, comfortable.
While shopping with my husband one day, I tried on a pair from a store that I do not usually shop in.
My husband took one look and said, “Those don’t look like you AT ALL!!” Enough said. I certainly did not buy them, and I was sure glad I didn’t. A few days later I was in Philadelphia at one of my favorite shoe stores (Head Start Shoes) and found a gorgeous pair that fit the bill! They were stylish and comfortable, but there was one problem…they were expensive!
I bought them anyway, justifying the fact that I had tried others on in the past that never seemed right, and kept telling myself that these were just perfect.
OH BOY…..I felt so guilty all the way home! Just Terrible!! Buyer’s remorse!
I felt like maybe I had made a mistake…but I eventually got over it.
SO…the moral of this story is:
We all have times when we are not feeling totally confident in our choices and we start to experience buyer’s remorse. If you can just hold off returning an item for a day or two when you are feeling less anxious and less guilty, then then you can decide if the purchase is really right. After a little time I decided my expensive flats were really comfortable and stylish, and now I am a happy Glam Gal!
I adore my new flats and every time I put them on, I feel comfortable in them and they go with all my clothes. They were worth the splurge because I wear them all the time and do not feel the need to buy anything else, and I will have these shoes for several years to come!
The bottom line is:
Now that we are over 40, we need to stop shopping like we did when we were young.
We need to buy less quantity and buy better quality things that we love and adore!
Also, don’t be alarmed when you finally buy something that you really like and it is a little more expensive than you usually spend, that you feel bad about it at first.
If you buy the right things, you will be happy in the end.
Check out The Glam Gals, 5 tips to make shopping easier!
If you are like many women after 4o you are thinking that things in life might not have turned out exactly how you planned it.
But no fear, you can still be happy, just read this weeks Blogging Boomers Carnival, our weekly dose of all topics Boomer related written by some of the top Bloggers out there!
So, if your life is not what you wanted you can at least take control how you look! After all, YOU are the one who buys your clothes!!
Here are 5 tips to think about when you go shopping so that you can turn your wardrobe into one that includes stylish clothes you love!
Get your closet cleaned out. If you have old clothes that don’t fit and are out of style, make sure they are not clogging up your closet, you will want to make room for the good stuff!
Make a list of your wish list and of what you need
Wear comfortable shoes and make up (Looking your best when you shop makes it more fun and you will feel better about how you look in the mirror!)
Have on your most updated outfit. Then when you go to buy something new, it needs to be as nice as what you already have or better! That way you set the bar higher and will not be tempted to buy something just mediocre.
Don’t feel like you have to buy something everytime you go shopping. Feel free to just window shop, try on and then go home and think about it. Too often we get home with “impulse” buys that we don’t really need or an item that doesn’t go with anything in our closet. Be super picky about what you buy!!!
Have you ever been shopping and said these fateful words: “I DON”T NEED TO TRY IT ON?” Of course some times that might be fine, but I have found that more times than not, those are words I have lived to regret!
Well,I (JoJami) forgot to take my own advice and I ended up buying this top back in January.
This shirt was a big mistake! I should have tried it on!
Here is the story…
I had gone into the store with a friend and tried on lots of things. Nothing fit or seemed right, so I was walking out the door of the store (empty handed) when I spotted this rack of colorful tops!
Oh, this one looked just great, and I mentioned to my friend, “Boy I could sure use another top, my wardrobe is low on tops right now”.
So she held it up to me and I decided that the size would be fine and there was no need to try it on. (HA!)
Here is a photo of my new shirt. YUCK, what was I thinking!
What went wrong?
Yes, the color is nice but it ended up being a size too small!
The way that the seams hit me on the bust area, flattens my already smallish boobies!
The fabric looks cheap when I put it on.
The style is not at all flattering.
The worst part is that the store has a strict return policy, and now I am stuck with it.
So remember, ALWAYS try things on before you buy, so you won’t make the same mistake I did!
Is it just me who does this…you know, especially around this time of year when you are suppose to be out shopping for others…well, I confess, I end up finding lots of goodies for me!
Now, this is something that I would ever admit openly at a social function…however here between “us girls” I feel like I can air my wayward ways.
So, when I read one of this weeks articles from our gang of super bloggers, I was eager to continue this conversation.
Feel free to comment below and don’t miss more on this hot topic and others at this weeks Blogging Boomers Carnival #143 which is being hosted over at So Baby Boomer!
I am so glad I found your wonderful website. I have a question that relates to what is “age-appropriate”. I am 43 and very petite. I am in love with a trend jacket that is big for the Fall, although I usually stay away from trends. The jacket I am talking about is the Alice + Olivia shrunken military jacket, a picture of which is attached.
My only concern is the age-appropriate perception of this jacket due to the adornment? My idea would be to wear it with some nice fitting jeans, a simple white top underneath and simple sleek black or metallic heels. No excessive accessories. I have tried the jacket on and it fits beautifully.
Your thoughts on the age-appropriateness of this ensemble is greatly appreciated!
Sincerely,
Gail
Hi Gail,
We have been seeing this look around and we agree it is so FUN!… but here it the thing… this is definitely a trend and what we call a “statement piece”. That means that you really will not wear it all the time and if you do, people will definitely remember that specific jacket.
Also, we know that this piece is rather expensive and is in the price range that we would call an “investment piece”. We suggest that you keep looking and find one that is similar with the military look, but perhaps not so dramatic as this one.
Moreover, if you buy it, because it is so trendy you might get tired of it soon and wish you had put your money in a high quality coat that is still fun, but one that you feel good in and can enjoy for a long time. An example of this would be this one we’re showing by Tory Burch.
To answer your question if it is age appropriate, we say that yes, someone over 40 can pull this off, but it is almost “costume-like”… so you would really have to be in a funky, fun job or live in a very cosmopolitan city or environment to wear it enough to get your moneys worth.
BTW… we think it would great left open with a red plaid flannel shirt under it with blue jeans.
What is your burning fashion question? We asked and you told us…
How can I look updated and chic and NOT spend a lot of money.
Deborah and I didn’t know if it could REALLY be done… so we went out and put it to the test.
Here am I (JoJami) with one of my lovely clients Linda S. Linda is over 40, a wife, mother of 4 kids, and a nurse. She told me she loves to see her teenage daughters looking hip and felt like those days were over for her. She rarely takes the time to shop for herself and when she does she never knew what to buy that was age appropriate.
So we let her read our new e-book… Chic on the Cheap~How to Update Your Wardrobe on a Budget and then sent her out shopping!
Client Linda and JoJami looking to dress chic on the cheap!
Linda realized that her first problem was that all these years she never really had the tools or plan she needed.
“One of the best part about the book was the chapter on Finding your Style Personality” says Linda. “That helped me keep my focus and opened my mind to try new things!”
Linda also confessed…
“I had a great leather skirt that I bought on sale last fall and never wore it because I didn’t have the right shoes.
After reading the book, I learned so much!! You, Glam Gals put in so many strategies that I could start using right away, and I had no idea of how many costly mistakes I have been making all these years!”
"Get Chic on the Cheap, it change my wardrobe, Yippee!"
Are you ready for Fall? Do you have a plan on what pieces to add or how to update your wardrobe?
Here is how you can start building your new dream wardrobe and save hundreds (for some thousands) of dollars, not making the same old mistakes!
We were sure you would LOVE Susan’s sweater set because it fits so nicely, and it made up of the 2 ” must have” classic pieces every woman needs to have in her wardrobe. Not to mention, we have found Susan’s sweaters to be the best fitting and best looking ones on the market!
Looks like we were right. Since then some of you received your sweaters and have been sending us letters with rave reviews!
Hi Susan and Glam Gals-
I wanted you to know I got my order and I love my twin sets!! In fact, I love the shell so much (I wore it today) I ordered two more of the shells in black, this way I can actually “wear them to pieces” and not worry!!
Thanks again!! Rhonda
One more note, we want to encourage you not to play it safe…we think the cream and blue and red ones are FAB, to add some much needed color to your wardrobe! Susan spent hundreds of hours choosing just the right shade of blue and coral that is universally flattering to all women.
We recently read an article in which the author was complaining that the “over 40″ market has been ignored by retailers.
True, there are not that many choices out there, however one of our blogging buddies, Dina at This Marriage Thing has found a few sites she likes and has reviewed them!
We got such a great response from our last post, we can’t wait to show you more real life, really fabulous women!
You may remember my (JoJami’s) very recent trip to the Philadelphia Flower Show. Not only did I see some beautiful flowers, I also saw some great fashion! (It just proves you can find inspiration anywhere!) It was a pleasure to meet Anne, who gave me some great tips about where to shop to get good deals on designer clothes. Thanks, Anne – you look great!
How do you know if you need to update your jeans or not?
Here’s our advice if you tell us……..
1. My jeans are all sizes and I don’t know which ones fit.
Try on your jeans. Get rid of the too small or too large ones, and get them out of the closet.
2. My jeans are all light colored or faded.
You definitely need to update your jeans. Dark jeans are in style and look much more chic! See below for suggestions.
3. My jeans are pleated on top and tight around the ankles.
Yikes, these are mom jeans…go straight to the trash can with these!
4. My jeans have those little bleached “kitty cat” wrinkles in them, that were so in style a few years back.
MEOW! (translation: no good). Those are dated and really not flattering. Good for gardening, cleaning the house, and sitting on the couch by yourself, petting your dog.
5. My jeans are boot cut at the bottom.
Good! Boot cut jeans are flattering on most body types and especially good to balance out a figure that is a little fuller! (We like these from Nordstrom’s.)
6. My jeans are straight legged and fitted.
These can be great to tuck into boots! If your legs are thin, you are good to go! A sweater cape, oversized handbag and large sunglasses will complete the look!
7. I’m looking at the new high rise jeans. Should I try them?
Sure, but it depends on your body type. They are in style, and will look great this spring with a pair of wedges and a tucked in top. If you are thick in the middle, you might not like it. Pears, you will look super!
8. Can I keep jeans with the pre-made holes?
Just saw that Nordstrom’s is showing lots of these types of jeans for spring. Ladies, your teenage daughters are going to be wearing these… so we don’t think you should be too.
9. I have jeans with some little sparkles on the pockets and some with fun embroidery on them.
If you want to look updated and hip, we suggest putting those away for now. That glitzy trend comes and goes and they are gone for now.
10. What about wearing straight legged jeans and flipping up the cuffs?
We’re surprised to see that this is still in style! If you haven’t tried it yet, it looks best if you wear a little wedge with these jeans to keep your leg from looking stumpy!
I know holiday time is nearing because my mail box is bulging at the rivets! I have shopped by catalog for convince, now it seems as if I receive every catalog ever printed! I would like some advice from the professionals; so I am going straight to the Glam Gals. What is the best way to approach my (growing) catalog pile? I know, I should begin by putting my VISA away and develop a plan (I have listened to you!) But what is next? What is the plan??
Sincerely,
Shops-By-Phone
Hi Shops-By-Phone!
When it comes to getting all those catalogs it can be rather overwhelming. When it comes to the question, should I or shouldn’t I buy from them we say, please by all means put that Visa away… we would much rather you get your body into the store and try things on, than buy from a catalog. However, that being said, we actually think these catalogs are a great tool to use in making your shopping plan.
So…here are 10 tips to what to do with all those catalogs:
1) Read catalogs like you would a fashion magazine. Look at what trends are coming in style, look at what colors they are showing. This will give you a good feel for how you might update your wardrobe for the coming season.
2) Be picky about which catalogs you read. Throw out the rest. Don’t be tempted to read the ones that are not worthy.
3) Catalogs we like are Nordstrom, Neiman-Marcus, Saks, any high end store. For casual, we like Banana Republic, Anthropology, and even J. Crew has got some great finds!
4) Catalogs we think will get you off track are Coldwater Creek, Chico’s, Talbots, anything too “earth cookie” will make you look matronly and uninspired.
5) Just remember, there are good and bad styles in all catalogs, because they have to sell to all types of tastes. Its not how much it costs; it is how it looks, fits and how much you love it.
6) You should not buy things from catalogs if you can help it. It is always better to go to the store when possible and try things on.
7) Use catalogs to inspire you to try to imitate a “look” if you have a budget. One of our favorite stores for a great bargain is H and M. They do a great job of selling clothes that have lots of style and a low price tag.
8 ) If you do buy from a catalog, go ahead and buy 2 different sizes so you can try them both on and return the one that does not fit. It’s very hard to buy things and have them fit the first time around. If you love it, and it needs a little alteration, get it done. Never feel guilty about getting something altered. Its so important that your clothes fit your unique body and its almost impossible for anyone to buy something that does not need a little nip or tuck here and there.
9) Only keep things that you absolutely LOVE and adore…most people get things from a catalog, and keep it, even if it is less than wonderful.
10) Finally, start noticing what colors they put the models in. Usually they put the right color on the right model. If you are unsure of what colors look good on you, find the models with your coloring and go for that . The jacket or top in colors that look good on you are key to looking great!
Thinking ahead to Christmas and wondering what to wear? Here are 4 Holiday Dressing Tips to make you look fabulous after 40.
Try not to buy black
By this time in your life, haven’t you bought enough little black dresses?? Why not break out of the rut and dare to buy something with some color in it! That way, you won’t be just one more dress in a sea of black, and you will look festive and fun! We would love to challenge you to just go out there and “try” not to buy black. You will find it’s harder than you think!!
Don’t reveal too much skin
The biggest mistake we see mature woman make is that they buy holiday outfits that are in style, but that don’t look good on bodies that are aging. That means the ever popular strapless dresses are generally a No No! As we age, our arms are one of the first places to start sagging. Be aware of this and take action! Go for a deeper neckline, but see if you can find a dress or top that has wide straps, or that has some fabric over the shoulders that covers up the arms.
Think Legs
This season you can get overwhelmed with the choices of dress lengths. What should you do? We think you should be honest with yourself about your legs! If your legs are still looking great, don’t cover them up. Show them off! Don’t hide under long skirts that make you feel matronly. However, if your legs are not your best feature, just skip the dress and go for a wonderful pant suit. You can still look festive and hip in a pant suit if you look for a fabric that is elegant and shiny. Be sure to wear the right shoes and accessorize it!
Invest in a Shaper
If you choose a dress made of clingy fabric or that is body hugging GREAT! However, make sure you keep the bulges to a minimum! There are so many brands of shape wear out there, you will be thrilled with the choices and instant smoothing results! Most boutiques carry the ever popular Spanx line, but there are many more out there too, like Cass and Co, Sassybaxand Slimpressions.
Celebrating Women over 40 who want to look Age-mazing!
Are you tired of the way you dress and ready to be inspired to look chic and hip
Are you frustrated about how to dress youthful, but not look like your teenage daughter?
Is it time to get for you to update your head shot?
Or Are you just looking for a fun day of pampering and transformation?
Then join Style Experts Deborah Boland and JoJami Tyler from Fabulous after 40 (www.fabulousafter40.com) as they guide you through a fun filled day packed full of tips and tricks to help you Tweak Your Chic and start looking Age-mazing! (amazing for your age!)
Meet Deborah and JoJami (aka The Glam Gals!) –>
Here is what you will get:
Spend the day at the gorgeous Joseph Anthony Retreat Spa and Salon!
Morning networking and light breakfast
Tweak Your Chic™ Fashion workshop
Find out what colors look good on you!
Hair color and new hairstyle
Buffet lunch
Make up lesson
Worth the Splurge boutique shopping
Option to have a professional head shot taken with fashion photographer* (includes a CD of your shots and 1 shot re-touched)
While down in Palm Beach , Florida recently, I (JoJami) had the pleasure of staying at Frenchman’s Reserve, a fabulous private golf course and spa resort.
After one of the most wonderful facials at their private spa, much to my surprise, the esthetician recommended that I use a few products from the drug store.
One of the products she suggested was RoC Retinol Correxion Deep Wrinkle Night Cream. At $19.00 this Retinol rich cream will have your looking more youthful, with out shelling out the big bucks.
One of the most important keys to keeping our over 40 skin looking fantastic is exfoliating! Another recommended product was Olay Regenerist Thermal Mini-peel to keep skin looking bright and feeling clean.
One of our friends, Karen Hamilton writes a blog called The Best Kept Secret and she recently reported finding more great finds at the drug store. For example, Clarins has a fantastic product that rejuvenates and repairs skin called Double Serum Generation 6.
We have found that sometimes you don’t have to pay crazy prices for good products. Be aware that fancy packaging and pushy sales staff can be intimidating.
The main thing is no matter what your budget, keep skin well moisturized and drink lots of water!
If you have to go back to the stores for returns and exchanges, we know that you might be tempted to want to add a thing or two to your bags. Yes, those retailers are going for our feminine jugular! Those tempting prices that we all can’t resist are everywhere…
Here are a few tips to help you keep your head on straight and your wallet closed!
Don’t Buy Another Purse: We all have too many of them, anyway…so this is not the time to go for one more! Save your money for one that you really want and love!
Pretty Party Dresses. These can be really tempting… however, if you don’t have a party coming up, say “PASS!” and move on. Come on, you know deep down that it will just sit in the back of the closet!
One More T-Shirt. Ladies…PLEASE….if we see one more drawer with t-shirts spilling out of them, (does this sound familiar?) Listen up…You don’t need one more t-shirt. Just say, “NO!”
“Oh…its Sooo Last Season”. That saying is really a good one! And we agree with it! Soooo, don’t be tempted to buy last season’s suit, pants, jeans, etc… Just wait to see what the new Spring season has to offer. Save your money. You’ll be so glad you did!
Don’t Be A Party Pooper! O.K. We don’t want to sound like a bunch of old grumps.. I (JoJami) just noticed that my favorite pair of flat black boots, really need replacing. So, if I see a great pair to replace them, (ON SALE!), yup, I’ll buy ‘em. However, Deborah insists that she would wait until next fall…hmmmm… I’ll have to think more about that…
You may be doing a great job keeping up your pedicures, but have you really looked at what you’re slipping your tootsies into these days?
If you want to stay updated, it’s important to make sure you’re not still wearing last season’s trends.
We’ve found a great on line source for some gorgeous high end shoes called Simply Soles. This website makes shopping for shoes super easy and it has exclusive brands that you won’t see on every street corner shop. Best of all you can search all the shoes by size! (even if you are a size 12!!) Simply Soles specializes in flats and low heels. All year, they run specials on selected styles.
So, click here for a fun shoe experience and to get some inspiration to add to that ever growing stash of soles:www.simplysoles.com
Ever gone shopping, tried something on and wondered, “Does this look awful, or is it just me?” How do you really know if a new trend looks bad on you or whether you’re just stuck in a serious style rut?
Welcome to the Tipping Point- that place of limbo where you must decide to either give a new style a try, or just plain give it up!
Here’s are a few helpful Do’s and Don’ts to help get you off this fashion fence.
1. DON’T blindly listen to sales people
We’ve all fallen into the trap of relying on a salesperson to talk us into buying something, that deep down, we’re not crazy about. While there are some good salespeople out there, most are on commission. Although they mean well, they subconsciously do want you to buy, so always keep this in mind.
Better to listen to your gut about an outfit or develop a long term relationship with a particular salesperson that you like and trust and who won’t steer you wrong.
Also, be sure to take a good look at how the sales person has put herself together. If she’s not looking so chic, how can you expect her to help you look chic?
2. DO take it home to test drive
The wonderful thing about shopping these days is that most stores have excellent return policies. If you’re not sure how you feel about something, take it home and try it out. It can look very different at home the next morning when you are more rested or you are in a different light. Maybe you’ll even notice how well it works with something else in your closet or be inspired to keep it because of all the compliments you get from family members when you slip it on. Or, perhaps, you’ll realize that your instincts were right after all, and promptly return it.
Just be sure to keep the tags attached and keep all receipts and you should have no problem. Trust us…doing this a dozen times, you’ll become more confident in your fashion choices and have to use this tactic only the odd time.
3. DON’T say no to the first garment you try on
When a new style arrives in the store it can be so foreign that even though it looks fabulous on you, it feels strange. We recently had one client who we suggested try the new walking short and she was very dubious. The first pair she tried on looked great, but was still unsure, so she tried on several more pairs in different fabrics and cuts until she got comfortable with the look. In the end she bought the first pair she tried on and 2 others. She was thrilled with the elegant look of walking shorts. So lesson here, try on many of the same style to get comfy and pick ones that suits you best.
4. DO check out what other women are pulling off
If you’ve tried on a certain new style and you are not sure if it is age appropriate, take a day and people watch what other fashionable gals are doing with the look. If you think chunky platform shoes will look too young, see if other stylish 40-somethings have them and what they are wearing with them to make them look so great. It’s all about the total look, so check out the small details. What style of clothes is she wearing with the shoes, how has she done her hair,what other accessories is she wearing? Also, notice the quality of the shoes she has on. All these details can shape how this trend will look on you.
5. DO be prepared to make mistakes
When you’ve fallen off the style track (or you feel you’ve never been on it), it’s going to take a while to get back on board. Be prepared to get it wrong sometimes and forgive yourself. So,you thought it looked great. You gave it a chance, and a month later hated it. This will happen. Don’t beat yourself up. Developing your own personal style is a process.
6. DON’T buy clothes you are not in love with
In the end, the best way to determine whether a new style is right for you is to be in love with it. A client of ours tried on a pair of gorgeous lower rise jeans in a stunning green shade that made her eyes pop. The color and style were perfect, but she just didn’t feel good in them not matter how many times she tried them on. So we suggested she pass. The reason: If you don’t feel confident in what you are wearing you will never look fabulous. Never! That’s the bottom line and the perfect way to politely tell to a pushy salesperson to get her off your back.
We recently read an article in which the author was complaining that the “over 40″ market has been ignored by retailers.
You may be doing a great job keeping up your pedicures, but have you really looked at what you’re slipping your tootsies into these days?
Ever gone shopping, tried something on and wondered, “Does this look awful, or is it just me?” How do you really know if a new trend looks bad on you or whether you’re just stuck in a serious style rut?
