What’s worse than dressing too old and frumpy? …Dressing like you’ve shopped in your teenage daughter’s closet! There’s a fine line between looking fabulous or foolish. Here are some Christmas cocktail dresses we found to illustrate the point. (All dresses are from Nordstroms)
| Example |
Don’t |
Do |
| Red satin is a bold and dazzling choice so be sure to wear it with class.
When you are young and firm you can get away with most anything, but after 40 more coverage up top and a longer length skirt will ensure you don’t end up looking like aging cocktail waitress. |
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| Baby Doll dresses have been popular in the last few years but on a grown up gal will make you look like you are playing dress-up.
You can still enjoy the ruffle look by wearing a dress with simple clean lines and no cutesy short or puffed sleeves. |
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| The draped look can be very elegant if it’s not overdone. Less is more if you are 40, 50, or beyond. |
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| We love these big collar dresses because they can put beautiful emphasis up by your face.
But at midlife you need to keep this look understated. Not too bright, short or exaggerated. Caution: don’t even go near this look if your arms aren’t in good shape! |
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| What gal can’t resist a bit of sparkle, but this mini on the left with it’s winged shoulders will make a woman 40 or better look like an desperate fashion victim.
We prefer the shift on the right with only a hint of shimmer peaking out from behind some sheer material. You can have fun with this trend, but not in a garish way. |
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| Grrr.. need we say more? If you like animal prints you might as well be a sexy cougar, rather than a baby cub. |
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| Pretty in pink? You can be if you choose to express the color in a sophisticated way.
Keep the cut clean, lean and modest. Stay away from the prom queen look. |
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| Bows. They’re tricky but they’re in style.
Forget the strapless, mini style and go for the regal Jackie O style. The tailored bow on the model on the right gives you much more presence and power than a floppy satin one. |
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| There’s a lot of green out there and it looks fabulous this Christmas.
Thin dress straps look lovely on a gal with perfect shoulders and decolletage, but after 40 they are too harsh. Also, avoid youthful fashion statements like these heavy black hose paired with a cocktail dress.
Opt for a dress like this one on the right with its stunning portrait neckline. It flatters most figures, especially 40+ ones that have experienced a little middle age spread because it balances out hips and shoulders. |
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| If you want to go sheer, do it in a tasteful way. Just a hint will do you. Be sure the rest of you is well covered up. |
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Shopping for our Christmas cocktail dresses we couldn’t help but notice that Black Lace is a huge trend this holiday season. Here’s a few of our favourites:
| For pear shapes:
This beautiful neckline broadens the shoulders and balances the hips making your bottom look more in proportion with your bust.
(Nordstrom) |
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| Tiger Lace:
If you want to look a little more chic than pretty..Love this simple sexy look. The lace is actually underneath the sheer netting that is draped to look like tiger stripes. (Nordstrom) |
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| Elegant:
She almost looks like a ballerina! This is very ladylike and alluring with the lace just at banded waist. Don’t try this look if you are shortwaisted or you will be all band!(Nordstrom) |
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| Romantic:
Very pretty but make sure this isn’t too short on you or it will look like you are wearing a nightie. (Nordstrom) |
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| Pink and Black Lace:
A flirty hinit of pink underneath this easy to wear sheath is great if you wory that all too much black lace will wash you out.(Nordstrom) |
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To accentuate your waist:
The scalloped edging is a gorgeous detail, and we like that the band and bow are not overpowering. (Nordstrom) |
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FAF reader, Cindy Mellow, in her recent wedding on the beach
Where do you turn to for advice when you are getting married for the second time and you want to make sure you look age-appropriate? Call on the Glam Gals, of course!
Looking Age-mazing™ for a wedding or any special occasion can be a challenge when your over 40 and want to make sure you not trying to look too young or too old.
With our e-book, Tweak Your Chic™, Dressing for the Mother of the Bride, we have a plan on how to approach shopping for any special occasion not just weddings! This e-book is packed with tips and a worksheet to make shopping a breeze for any upcoming event.
Here is are just a few of the issues we solve:
- Finding the right dress for your body type
- How to pick the perfect accessories
- Where do I start?
For all of December, when you buy our e- book, we will be happy to answer up to 5 style questions (via e-mail) that you might have. Just write and e-mail us photos for us to review to: info@fabulousafter40.com
Click here to Buy NOW!
Don’t miss out on this Special first time offer!
What do you wear when you are the Mother of the Bride or Groom and the wedding is early afternoon, but the reception is not until the evening?
Is a dressy suit more appropriate or an evening gown?
The answer in this situation is, either is acceptable.
 Barb's Mother of the Groom outfit for the ceremony |
Some choose to play it both ways, like my friend Barbara. Barb’s son Andrew got married a few weeks ago and she decided she would wear one outfit to the ceremony and another to the party.
Here’s Barb at 1:00 in the afternoon at the church in a black skirt and stunning fuschia jacket. She’s a summer and the color was spectacular on her. |
 Barb at the reception |
After the ceremony and during the photo taking she changed into this dramatic black number (which she had made) and wore it to the 5:00 P.M. reception held at a posh supper club. |
| What did I wear? I went for two outfits too. I wore my favorite cream colored summer suit by Ross Mayer to the church. To the reception I wore this espresso sparkly teardrop dressy by Milly that made me feel like dancing. It’s available at Nordstrom.
In this very casual dress world we live in, isn’t it nice to have the chance to go to a wedding so you can play dress-up sometimes? |
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For more great ideas on what to wear as Mother of the Bride or Groom check out our ebook Tweak Your Chic-Mother of the Bride!
What a relief to see that those old misconceptions about how a mother of the bride – or mature woman attending a special event – should look, are finally changing. America’s biggest bridal retailer, David’s Bridal, is forging the way for moms and wedding-goers to look hipper, younger and cooler!
Here are some trends we have seen in the bridal industry in the past few seasons that give us hope!
1) Color
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It used to be that Mother of the Bride dresses only came in four colors: blah, boring, beige, and blech. Pastels and navy blue are only part of the selection nowadays! Finally, the industry is starting to show a spectrum of different colors, from spring greens to rich purples.
Whether you love bold jewel tones or rich earth tones, there should be something out there for you. Since more saturated colors are better for aging skin tones, liven up your look, and go for something with pizazz!
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2) Bolero Jackets
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We’re sick of those boring, frumpy jacket dresses too, but with the rising popularity of bolero jackets, there’s finally a fresh new take on them! Designers finally addressed the need for a removable, arm-covering piece that is also fashionable.
It’s a perfect combination of style (with different sleeve lengths, they can be very sharp), practicality (take it off when you’re hot, and you will still have a great dress underneath), and modesty (wear it to cover up during the ceremony – no one will guess you’re trying to cover those wobbly chicken wings under your arms!).
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3) Variety of lengths
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Say goodbye to floor length! We’re seeing plenty of different hemlines popping up, maybe due to the variety of different wedding styles and venues. We’re seeing plenty of cocktail-length, knee-length, handkerchief hems and hi-lo (high in the front, long in the back).
Just stay away from anything above the knee – that’s way too short. All these new hemlines give you one more reason to wear some killer shoes!
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We love that David’s has come up with stylish, more age-appropriate ways to appeal to the new generation of boomers! To get more tips about how to dress for your son or daughter’s wedding, check out our eBook Tweak Your Chic: Mother of the Bride!
Last month, we blogged about tiered dresses and if they made sense for women over 40. Well, just the other day, we found a beautiful woman wearing a lovely dress that definitely fit the bill! Only problem was, we got the picture without getting her name! (If you’re out there…we loved your outfit!)
What makes this dress work is the fit (it’s body-hugging without revealing too much skin), a gorgeous color (that blue it beautiful on her!), rich fabric, chic hair-do, and elegant, understated accessories. We would have loved to see her in some great embellished silver heels, but the sandals give the outfit an easy feel.
Love this style? Then, GRAB THAT GARB! We found similar ones online – check them out!
This and many lovely styles available at Nordstrom. Do a search for “shutter pleat,” and check out all the options!
And for those bargain shoppers, here’s a steal from Kohl’s.
I’ve got dressing my age (52) down. I’m a pretty good dresser, not frumpy, thanks to my teenage daughter. And, no, I don’t dress like I’m 16!
My problem is that I am getting married this summer in a 10 acre backyard in a rural setting in Texas. Most guests will be wearing blue jeans. It’s going to be simple and fun. What do I wear? I don’t want to look like Ellie Mae Clampett wearing a dress made by Cousin Pearl, nor do I want to look like the girls from Hootersville (what a funny name looking back on it now). I am 5′10″, wear between a 6 and an 8, small chested, Norweigian heritage, pale skin and blonde and silvery hair. It’s not bleached! What can I wear just to look memorably pretty?
L
Hi, L! My, my – you sure are a tall drink of water, and slim too! Lucky you – you can probably pull off a sleeveless style, which you will be thankful for outside during a hot Texan summer! Shopping for styles might be difficult, since you’ll see a lot of fussy, frilly junior dresses out there with big bows and high hems! Stick to simple lines, lighter, flowier fabrics (nothing too heavy or satin-y), and V-necks to bring the attention up to your face. Stay away from anything too heavily beaded or embellished, or anything too short! To the knee should be the highest your skirt should go.
As far as color, you still do want to designate yourself as “The Bride” in pictures and to your guests. After all, you’re still a bride – you can allow yourself to go a little glam an stand out in the crowd! Therefore, we do recommend a lighter color. We understand that once you get to a certain age, wearing white to your own wedding is considered passé (sometimes even taboo!). But it you’re a traditionalist at heart, why not go for an ivory or white?
The empire waist and V-neck is very flattering
If you don’t dare do white, then choose a light blue or green. (With your skin, stay away from pale pinks and beiges — they could wash you out!) Soft pattern would also be nice, as it has a more casual feel.
Lace insets give this a demure wedding feel, but the silky fabric keeps it casual.
Solids colors are pretty too, as long as you spice it up by putting some flowers or an embellished comb in your hair.
Chiffon will keep you cool.
We found all these dresses on Nordstrom’s website. Good luck, and best wishes!
Dear Glam Gals,
I will be attending 2 bridal showers this spring and have no idea what to wear. Please help. I am overweight, an apple shape with excess weight in the tummy. Please give me some options, since I’m clueless about looking stylish.
Thanks!
JMC
Dear JMC,
Style is all about finding what looks good on your body type and what type of look you want to project. Are you preppy? elegant? fun? trendy? or chic?
Start with finding the style that will flatter your figure. You need to balance out your apple shape by wearing a pencil skirt and sweater set on top. No belt. Some nice pumps will make you look taller and leaner.
You can also do a top with a “V” neck to make you look thinner. Keep the top out, and make sure it is form fitted. Too much loose fabric will only make you look top heavy. For tummy control, we highly recommend some shapewear from Sassybax. If you have never worn shapewear we promise it will be your new best friend!
 Solids make you slim |
 For the wild at heart |
 Elegant and sexy |
We also love the full figure flattering dresses, above, from the site Lola and GiGi. Here are a few that would be great for this occassion: a cute green wrap dress , a giraffe print style and an elegant brown frock.
Good luck!
Your body may have changed a bit and you’re face isn’t as perfectly unlined as it used to be, but you still feel sexy and want to show it. What’s the best way to do that? Don’t try so hard. No need to shout when a whisper will do the trick. Here are 3 great ways to look sexy after 40.
1. Steer Clear of Cleavage Catastrophes
Too much
A little mystery is always sexier than letting it all hang out, especially after 40 when everything is suddenly starting to head a little bit south. While Nigella still has a beautiful bust line, her dress leaves nothing to the imagination and looks like she’s serving herself up on a platter for a feast. With her ample assets, she would have been better off in something a little less low-cut that emphasized her figure rather than just her enormous breasts.
Better Choice
This glamorous silky brown jersey gown is bold and striking and would make Nigela look like a Greek Goddess. It’s still very sexy, but in a more refined way. (Lauren by Ralph Lauren Donnie One-Shoulder Dress with Ruffle)
Too much
If your bust is more in proportion with the rest of your body and you do want to play it up, then do so by all means. But, do it in a grown-up, not girly way. This satin blue top with its pretty bow is too sweet and baby-doll-like for a mature woman.
Better Choice
Here’s something still feminine and romantic but so much more grown up and figure flattering. The gal in this Diane VonFurstenberg ‘Marla” Slipper Satin Wrap Top isn’t that busty but even on a medium busty gal, this would look fab. Choose something with a little less flounce if you are super busty.
2. Trade Thigh-High for Knee-High
Too Much
Super short skirts with bare legs like this knit mini may have looked fabulous on you before the big 4-0 but even if your body is in good shape, they are going to make you look desperate to be noticed after 40. (Rampage Women’s Belted Sweater Dress)
Better Choice
This length of this cable knit sweater dress is much more appropriate for a midlife gal. We suggest just above the knee to at the knee depending on how you feel about your legs. (Below the knee will make you look old) Pair the skirt with matching tights and boots or shoes for a long lean look. What we want to emphasize here is that you do not need to show off a lot of skin to look sexy. You will actually look sexier showing off your shape and this form fitting knit dress does that beautifully.
3. Avoid Clunky or Junky Shoes
Too Much
A clunky shoe like this may look great on Jessica Simpson, Nicole Ritchie or other twenty-something starlets …but on a grown-up gal, you will look like you raided your daughter’s closet. A thinner platform can be quite lovely, but these giant clunkers with their snakeskin detailing are just too trendy to work.
Better Choice
Our pick would be these sophisticated pumps by Stuart Weitzman, still snakeskin but much more elegant, and very sexy with the open toe.
Too Much
Junky shoes, as in too much hardware or junk hanging off them, can easily make you look trashy not classy after 40. Plastic and zippers may look cute, and fun when you are young and being experimental with your style, but they look cheap and hooker-ish on a boomer woman.
Better Choice
These flirty pumps in sexy silver from Chinese Laundry would be a much better choice. The t-strap adds sexiness but not in a vulgar way.
In summary, try this little trick to look sexy after 40. Instead of thinking, “I want to look sexy” and then going overboard by trying too hard, think, “I want to look gorgeous”, and you will end up looking sexy in a tasteful, age appropriate way.
Want more tips on how to ramp up your style in 2009. Then pick up a copy of The Glam Plan: 12 Easy Steps to take you from Frumpy to Fabulous.
Dear Glam Gals,
Please advise what to wear to a charity ball if you are plus size and 60+ years old. The theme this year which may or may not be an issue is Golden Age of Hollywood. Would it be appropriate at my age and size to wear a shiny fabric such as gold or silver? Also, are halter type tops out of the question? Also, style is an issue – I don’t want to look like a mother of the bride or an aging prom queen. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Thank you!
S.A.
Dear S.A.,
Here are some good rules for women of your age and body type to follow:
- Shiny fabrics tend to show every lump and bump, we say it’s a good idea to stay away from them.
- Halters can be very flattering on many women, however, if you have broad shoulders or thick arms, this is one style you will want to steer clear of.
- We think Sophia Lauren is a great role model for wearing what looks glamorous on the red carpet. She loves to wear boat neck tops that show her nice neckline, but cover up the tops of her arms.
- What makes a gown look like a mother of the bride is stiff fabric, matching jackets and high necklines. Beware of these pitfalls!
- Aging prom queen would look like cheap fabric, and too much glitz and glitter. Keep it simple and make sure your dress is a quality fabrication.
- Make sure the color is flattering on you. As we age, black can be draining and light grey, although very fashionable these days, can look drab on many of us!
- Focus on the dress first, then accent it with accessories that will give you “Old Hollywood” glamor to capture the theme. Think: Art Deco-inspired jewelry and Marcel hair.
- Go here for more great style ideas for women over 40!
(Thank you Nordstrom’s for the styles shown above)
Got a wedding coming up? Confused about what to wear? Afraid you’ll have to resort to recycling that old standby, hidden in the back of your closet?Here are the answers to the
7 Top Questions about What to wear to a Wedding
Q1. What should I wear to a Daytime Wedding?
The mood of a daytime wedding is light, fresh, and cheery, and so a
pretty dress in a happy color like this sunny yellow is a good choice for a wedding guest. Choose something that’s similar to what you’d wear if you were invited to a fancy garden party or special summer luncheon.
A floral print dress is ideal, and should be very easy to find because floral are one of the hottest fashion trends this Spring/summer 2008. Accessorize your dress with some cute heels, a great clutch, and if you are daring enough, a hat. How often do you get to go to a wedding? Have fun and dress up.
This blue floral halter dress is light and breezy and would be right at home at an
outdoor summer wedding.Q2. Can I wear Pants?
Yes, absolutely! If your legs are not your best asset or dresses are just not your thing, then pants are a fine choice. However, we’re not talking any old pair of slacks and a top. To look more elegant a
wear a solid color pantsuit or a beautiful blouse and a pair of Palazzo pants which are flowy and feminine, almost like a dress. Lighter colors like this pastel blue pantsuit are best for daytime weddings, and be sure to choose fabrics that are relaxed and a little more luxurious than everyday.
Q3. What should I wear to an Evening Wedding?
Easy Answer –
a cocktail dress! Just make sure it is not too flashy or sparkly or skin revealing. You don’t want to look like you should be at a disco. For example, a tight fitting red satin dress with sequins and a plunging neckline is too showy. This green silk charmeuse dress with goldtone beads has just the right amount of shine.
Love this coral chiffon dress with soft fluid skirt that would be heavenly to dance in.
Here’s another elegant style. This mauve stunner with bolero jacket gives you a little more coverage.
Another option for an evening wedding is to wear a dressy suit or a cocktail suit. Remember, it’s night. You mustn’t look the slightest bit corporate. No pinstripes, shirts, tweeds, serious suit styles and heavy materials. You need to wear a fitted suit, not a boxy suit; one that is softer, a little sexy, feminine and luxurious – the type of thing you’d wear if you were going out to a special dinner. Think sophisticated. (A very dressy pantsuit with this same feel would work too.)
Q4. Is it true you should never wear white ever? What about cream?
Sorry, that old rule of no white at weddings still stands because you never want to upstage the bride. The only time it is acceptable is to wear a tiny bit of white as a detail on a dress or within a pattern of a dress- but we’re talking tiny. Cream or beige is o.k. unless you know the bride is wearing cream. This form fitting shutter pleat cream dress with a touch of metallic had a cocktail feel and would look great at an evening wedding.
Q5. Can I wear Black?
While black is too dark and heavy for daytime weddings, a
black cocktail dress is very appropriate for an evening wedding. This black taffeta skirt with knit top would be chic.
Q6. What should I wear to black tie wedding?
A black tie wedding is most formal and calls for something very glamorous like you are going to a formal ball. Here’s where a full length Black dresswould be your very best choice, however a black cocktail dress would be acceptable too. If you don’t like black, then a single color dress in a rich color is elegant too. Also, a dress that is simple with, clean lines is what’s right for this elegant affair. No fussy details or frou-frou.
Always respect the fact that will be one of the most special days in Bride’s life. Honor her by putting some effort into what you wear and dressing up for the occasion, but
never try to outshine her. It’s her moment to in the spotlight. Make sure she feels like the Star.
Deborah found these gorgeous photos of the latest couture gowns from Versace at Style.com, and we both started drooling!!!
JJ: “Oh, my gosh, aren’t these just gorgeous!!!”
DEB: “To die, for! Can’t wait to see which celebrities turn up in these!”
Can’t you just see Elizabeth Hurley in that sexy blue gown? How about Michelle Pfeiffer in that nude, jewelled waisted one?…(even though she is loyal Armani fan)
Lots of bold color, curves, ruffles, Grecian Goddess looks. They’re the ultimate in femininity!
We know that most of you won’t be running out the door to purchase one of these ultra pricey designer creations, but we still thought you’d enjoy this little taste of glamour.
Do you have a special event that you have to buy a dress for? Study the color and style of these gowns and look for something similar if you want to look updated and fabulous!
Another New Years Eve, another “What am I going to wear?”
After 40, that’s an even harder question to answer because what once worked
before, mysteriously doesn’t seem appropriate any more. If you’re
fretting about what to wear so you don’t look too young, too old, but
just right then here are:
5 Do’s and Dont’s to Look like a Boomer Babe on New Year’s Eve!
1. Do Stick to Sophisticated Colors
As much as we love color, bright evening wear can be hard too pull off after 40. Against mature skin it can look loud, harsh and frankly, not chic. One suggestion is to stick to neutrals like soft black, navy, brown, gold or taupe. You can never go wrong with these classic colors as they are a beautiful canvas against which to show off your face, skin and hair. Neutrals are also work as a fabulous backdrop to splashes of color, so if you want to add a bright evening clutch, necklace, pashmina or pair of shoes then goes right ahead!
If you are really tired of neutrals, an all over color is still an option but keep it toned down.
The color you choose should blend in with your skin tone, rather than scream I’ve arrived. When you walk in a room people should notice you not your bold, bright dress. Rich Jewel tones like royal purple, ruby red, and emerald green are hot this season and are a great choice because they are always regal. One caution though- Stick to one solid color for a more elegant look and accent with neutrals only. Bags, shoes and jeweler should be in black, gold and or silver.
2. Don’t Over Dazzle Them
Yes, it’s New Year’s but too much flash will make you look like a hardened Las Vegas Showgirl. Glitz is great, but go sparingly on the sequins and sparkle. Touches here and there are more tasteful than head to toe. Same with jewelry-put them emphasis on a stunning necklace, a great pair of earrings, a wonderful cocktail ring or fabulous bracelet but don’t all of these pieces all together or you’ll look like an overdecorated Christmas tree.
3. Do keep it Clean and Simple
When it comes to the style of dress that works best for Women over 40- here’s the simple truth. Frilly, Fussy, Busy, is old. Clean, simple, more tailored is modern. Be sure to stay away from dresses with too many busy details, complicated patterns, and crazy hemlines and necklines that are just there for shock value. Steer clear of cheap trendy fabrics and avoid dresses with too much “stuff “hanging off them, as if they are made for gypsy fortune tellers. Do keep it clean and simple. You only need one major beautiful focal point like a gorgeous slit up the side or a fabulous jeweled collar neckline. Less is always more.
4. Don’t Overdo Your Hair and Make-up
Just because New Year’s is the BIG event of the Year doesn’t mean the message here is to have BIG hair. On the contrary, big, puffy, sprayed hair that doesn’t move is dated. (We know you know that, but another shot of hairspray is so tempting isn’t it) Same for make-up. This is not a costume party. Don’t automatically apply your make-up any heavier than you would normally do any other night out on the town. But a smokey eyeliner and false lashes will give you that extra party punch you are looking for.
5. Do make sure you look Sexy
If you think the definition of sexy is spaghetti straps, deep necklines, short skirts and showing off showing off as much skin as you can, then think again. Over 40 sexy can be as simple as body skimming clothes that show off your silhouette, and not necessarily your skin. If you want to take it a step further then, find your own hot spot and play it up. Great legs? splurge on a decadent pair of high heels. Beautiful bust? Don’t hide it. Make sure to find a top or dress with a tasteful V neckline and wear a great plumping bra to make sure you are looking perky! As the costume designer, Rosemary Ponzo says, “ Buy the right dress and the party will come!”
