Style Advice Q & A

Lose The Little Girl Style

Yikes, It’s embarrassing…. mature women who are so addicted to”cute” that they don clothes and accessories that make them look like middle-aged moms playing little girl dress-up.

Now, most of us love “cute” to some degree, but you must be careful after 40 that you don’t go overboard with what you consider cute or that too much “cute”  begins to define your look. Clothes and accessories that are too junior will not make you look younger; they will make you look older than you are and rather silly.

Here are a few examples of ” CUTESY” things you’re best to avoid.marc jacobs sandal

Not “Charming” over 40: Yes, they are Marc Jacobs, but don’t let designer labels make you think anything goes. These “cute” women’s sandals on a grown-up gal will make you look like you are wearing your grandaughter’s party princess shoes


feather fur earings



Forget these! Don’t these remind you of those feather earrings we wore in the ’70s? Feathers and fur are all fads and too tacky for a grown-up gal.


UGG fuzzy wuzzy bag

Ugg- Forget this!

This fuzzy wuzzy bag is an UGG in more ways than one. Leave it for your trip hiking n Greenland.


fussy dress

Bows, ruffles, flounce, cutesy sleeves: This dress has them all. Avoid clothes that are too frilly or fussy, sweet, and sappy. Check your mirror. You’re a mature woman!





Cute and Cozy: Yes, it is adorable on this sweet young thing (who could wear a prison uniform and look good), but on a grown-up gal, don’t you deserve something with a little more sex appeal than bacon and eggs?    



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28 thoughts on “Lose The Little Girl Style

  1. I love the flannel PJs in the winter. I get so cold in the winter that I need something warm to be able to go to sleep. I prefer (men’s style) women’s PJs also. I have seen every type of clothing I believe has been manufactured. Women need to have a full-length mirror in their bedroom and look good before leaving their homes. I always try to determine if something will look too young for my age. I want to look good, but not like I’m trying too hard.

  2. While I appreciate your article and your own opinions, I don’t agree with some of the things you have suggested. I’m 50 years old and very comfortable in my skin. Inner beauty is everything – something I didn’t have in my 20’s or 30’s. I sometimes wear oversized denim overalls, my trendy cab hat, and my vintage Doc Martens loafers. I love it. Although pancake patterned PJs aren’t my thing, I own several pairs of brightly colored, wildly patterned, cozy PJs. I love them. I shop for jeans at AEO (American Eagle) because I like vintage artist-style jeans – they are comfortable, and I feel good in them. For me, in my 50’s now, I am finally comfortable being me, in my skin. I have faced enormous personal challenges and have survived. I have integrity and depth of character – the rest of it is excessive. I appreciate what you are saying, and I somewhat agree, but there also needs to be room for women to be who they are, have a bit of fun, and don’t take things too seriously!

      1. Being comfortable in one’s skin is one thing. Dressing with tact and class and looking put together is another. I’m 44 and deserve to look put together now, not sport the latest throwaway fashion. If you know how to dress, expensive is not an obstacle…..looking put together is easy if you try. You can buy an essential black wrap dress at Target or Walmart and add accessories and be comfy or dress it up. I don’t even know many 20-somethings that don’t look frumpy in overalls. It’s not a very good look on any woman’s body except maybe a pregnant one. Just my two cents. Thank you for the advice. After living as a resident in Las Vegas and other large tourist-driven cities, so many women look like they have robbed their granddaughter’s closets….ill-fitting or just tacky on any age clothing IE Juicy Couture (when middle schools are banning writing on the butt……middle-aged women should as well)

  3. I am embarrassed to admit that, at 65, I bought two dresses, one from Phase 8 and another from Monsoon, with ties at the back. I am very petite, and it is difficult to dress without looking like a senior teenager – and remain solvent!! Precis, for instance, is expensive and, to my mind, frumpy.

    Please help – and remember the pension!

    Kind regards,

    Laraine Parker

  4. Pajamas, workout wear, are okay to be cutsie for a woman of any age. But I agree with everything else. I love butterflies and found some earrings I assumed I would wear, but they just felt too cute. I gave them to my 15-year-old niece, and she loves them. Still, a tiny bit of cute in an accessory isn’t so bad. I have a lovely coral ring shaped like a red rose that I love to wear. As long as the rest of me isn’t cutsie from head to toe, I see nothing wrong with it.

  5. Nah … cutesy pajamas are for the kid in all of us. We still get to have fun! Just don’t wear them outside the house.

  6. Great article!!!! Everyone that knows me that this is my biggest pet peeve…people who dress too young. At 41, there are certain stores and styles that I’ve had to let go of.

  7. I would LOVE to see more articles/examples like this. If you ‘feel’ 20 years younger, it can be easy to forget which outfits make you look pulled together and fashionable and which ones make you look silly. Great tips; keep ’em coming!

    1. Hi SW
      Thanks for commenting. I’m working on more articles like these, and it is helpful when I hear comments like yours to egg me on!!! So keep your comments coming.

  8. Agreed. I was done with cutsie in 83 when I was 17! And flouncy bows don’t look good on anyone over 12.

  9. I agree wholeheartedly & personally decided a few years ago that if my initial reaction to clothing or accessories is “that’s cute,” I won’t (usually) even try it on. I look forward to the good-looking flannel PJs post – I prefer men’s style PJs (women’s version, not actual men’s) but find it challenging to see colors other than pastel colors, infantile prints, etc. I prefer the satin versions with a brushed interior finish – easy to sleep in & cozy; in the summer, I go with short sleeves & I have found a few “sleep cool” brands marketed toward the older woman.

  10. I am a black woman and struggle with excellent wavy curly hair management. I wear headbands that are narrow and “marbled” for my salt and pepper hair. I get my hair done twice a month, but accessories are required to keep me from having bad hair days. Can’t I pull off a single, small ornament strategically placed in my updo?

  11. I am a black woman, and struggle with very fine wavy curly hair management. I wear headbands, but they are narrow and “maarbled” for my salt and pepper hair. I get my hair done twice a month, but hair accessories are required to keep me from having bad hair days. Can’t I pull off a single, small ornament strategically placed in my updo?

    1. Hi Margaret,
      You can pull that off!! As long as the ornament is in keeping with the formality of your outfit. If you are going casual, you will want a simple decoration. If you are dressy, you can add some sparkle. However, keeping it simple is always the best choice to go with!

  12. Anne, it would have to be a MUCH sleeker design for me to wear the orange creation. If it had a straighter skirt &amp, and lost that hideous belt, it might be ok. Flannel pj’s are ok by me. Bow headbands or any headband at all is pretty much a fail for me too.

  13. Hi Anne,
    Yes, it certainly would help by adding the ‘tweaks’ you suggest, and if you are on the thin side, it would be fine. The one thing is that short sleeves like the one on this dress can be hard to pull off after 40. Instead of making you look young, they can age you and bring attention to the worst part of the arm. Sleeves on clothes are very tricky, and you should know how they make you look. We find sleeveless or 3/4 sleeves are the only way to go these days unless the sleeves are a little wider and not too tight. Again, if you have thin arms, you are lucky and can get away with more styles.

  14. Love your tips. Tho’ I must confess that I disagree with you on the flannel pjs. Maybe it’s being Canadian and living through sub-zero winters, but when there’s three feet of snow outside, I’m in flannel baby. After 18 years of marriage, if my hubby can’t deal with that, he can sleep in a snowbank. lol. In fact, he has his own flannels.

    And I agree with Robin. I see tons of teens wearing pj bottoms as pants. I shudder at the thought!

    1. LOL..Well Andrea, I must confess that I do own a few pair of flannel ones too, however I only wear them on super cold nights!! There are some fun patterned ones out there by Bed Head. I love those.

  15. Would the orange dress work if you removed the belt and added a sleeker design, unbuttoned the top three buttons, and wore some strappy heels?

  16. Hi Deborah,

    I have to agree with your commentaries for each item. However, I do wear flannel pajamas in the harsh, cold winters where we live BUT the fabric and styles are sophisticated in solid colors or very subtle prints.

    Never-Ever-Wear PJ bottoms outside the confines of one’s own home!

    1. Hi Robin,
      I like flannel in the winter to feel toasty at night. I wear feminine silk p.j.’s with flannel linings, but they are hard to find. Bacon and egg jammies wouldn’t be my cup of tea, but I do admit I have worn some pretty wild ones in the past. One Christmas my kids gave me a pair of bright yellow flannel p.j.’s with huge penguins all over them. I wore them all winter. Some things you do for love!
      Glam Gal

  17. I agree with all of the above, Sadly I have see some very cutsie hair accessories , the scrunchie and rhinestone bobby pins

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