photo: make-up Beke Beau
Everyone talks about what the Mother of the Bride should wear, but what about the Mother of the Groom? What should you wear and is it any different from what the mother of the bride would wear?
The answer is simple. You wear something that coordinates with the wedding party and the mother of the bride’s dress.
It may sound a little old-fashioned, but the proper wedding etiquette is that the mother of the groom waits to hear what the mother of the bride is wearing before she selects her outfit. The problem is, what if the mother of the bride can’t decide or doesn’t tell you.
Don’t worry, it’s perfectly fine to call her up and have a chat about it. After all, you want to make sure you find a dress in plenty of time before the wedding and it does take some work to look for one.
1. Your dress should co-ordinate with the bridesmaids and mother of the bride’s dress in terms of color, style and length. So for example, if the bridesmaids are wearing pastel pink and the mother of the bride is wearing pastel yellow, don’t wear bright red. You will stick out like a sore thumb and ruin the photographs.
2. Don’t go for a twin look and wear matching pastel yellow like the mother of the bride. You’ll need to have your own look. In this case, lavender or pale blue, or mint green or peach would work well.
3. Don’t wear white or off white– you don’t want to take away from the bride.
4. Wear black, only if it is o.k. with the bride. Black can be a chic choice but make sure not to surprise the bride and buy the dress without speaking with her. Remember a bride has likely been planning her wedding day in her head all her life and she may have a certain look or feel she is trying to achieve. Black may not be in this picture.
5. Check about patterns- There are more and more patterned dresses these days, and I would advise you check with the bride about that too. It can be a modern choice but if a bride is very traditional, she may not like the idea of stripes or flowers stealing the spotlight in the photos.
6. Keep it conservative- Remember all eyes should be on the bride. This is not the time or place for a low-cut gown with lots of cleavage or a very short skirt that shows off a little too much leg.
7. For black and white weddings, which are getting more and more popular consider a subtle metallic like pewter, gold or silver. These are a great alternative to black or white and can be a classy timeless addition.
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Maggie randall says
June 29, 2018 at 2:04 pmMy daughter is getting married next April her bridesmaid are wearing cadbury purple, what colour should I wear?
Deb Boland says
July 29, 2018 at 9:56 pmHi Maggie, Cadbury purple is rich and regal. You could wear silver, gold, pink is always pretty or a lighter warmer purple would also complement darker Cadbury purple. Sometimes even green or blue can work. Check out this link and see if you get any ideas:https://www.pinterest.ca/crystbouquets/cadbury-purple-wedding-theme/?lp=true
joanne says
March 24, 2017 at 7:25 amThe bridesmaid are wearinging red , maid of honor black and my son is wearing a red jacket with black lapels. I’m in love with a black gown with sparkle in the sleeves. I’m a big woman and it is flattering. The bride likes it too .
Adrienne says
March 7, 2017 at 5:09 pmBrides maids are wearing burgundy or maroon color dress and mother of bride is in blue. Can I wear a silver color dress or is that to light. Also I saw a dress that is pretty and it’s lilac. Would that clash and any suggestions are welcome.my future daughter in law said any color other than maroon or blue.ceremony in May outside evening with reception to follow
Deb Boland says
March 17, 2017 at 11:48 pmHi Adrienne, Silver would be fine. It is a neutral and goes with everything. Lilac could work too. Check out these guidelines for colors for Mob and David’s unique color match guide which is in the article. Best wishes:https://www.fabulousafter40.com/best-mother-bride-dress-color/
Melissa says
September 11, 2016 at 10:40 pmThe mother of the bride is wearing navy blue. What color would the mother of the groom wear?
Deborah Boland says
September 19, 2016 at 5:05 pmHi Melissa, There are no hard, fast rules. What color are the bridesmaids wearing. Find a color that co-ordinates with the bridesmaids and mother of the bride. Imagine all of you lined up in a photo. You want to blend in, not stick out.
Joan Sparks says
April 24, 2018 at 12:05 amMy son is getting married in Hawaii. The mother of the bride is wearing slate blue, midlength. The bridesmaids are wearing different styles and colors ranging from gold to tan, blush. I found a dress that I love on me and it slims me. The color is navy blue and it is long. Would that be ok?
Deb Boland says
April 24, 2018 at 11:55 amHi Joan, The mother of the groom should not wear the same color as the bridesmaids or mother of the bride. You should wear a color that complements the colors they have selected. It sounds like your navy dress is not the same shade as the slate mob dress, and that they might co-ordinate well? If this is true, you should be fine. As for length, the mothers do not have to wear dresses of equal length, although many do, feeling that it creates a more harmonious look, especially in wedding photos. I would discuss this with the bride and see how she feels. I get the feeling the bride would be open to this dress as you mentioned all her bridesmaids are wearing different styles and colors. This sounds like a nice laid back Hawaiian wedding. I hope everything works out and you have a wonderful time. Cheers, Deborah
Caroline Baggy says
December 6, 2013 at 7:43 amThis dress is similar to the one my mom wore on my sister’s wedding two weeks ago. She is a bit healthy but when she wore her shape looked absolutely stunning; I am not over-exaggerating but may be it is because of the over aLl gown which makes one look slimmer. In fact, everyone at the wedding reception really liked my mom over al look plus the jewelry and shows she wore along with the dress which enhanced her whole appearance. You can check their whole collection here http://www.johncharles.co.uk/
susan says
October 11, 2011 at 12:34 pmDon’t make the same mistake as I did. As a 52 year old mother of the bride, I feel I am in very good shape physically. I work out four times a week and try to eat well. I did not want to look frumpy or dowdy at my daughter’s wedding. I ended up choosing a dress that was charcoal gray, (it looks black in the pictures), form fitting and too low cut, and now I cannot get over the feeling of shame. Every time I look at the wedding pictures, I get upset all over again. If I could do it all over again, I would wear a simple sleeveless sheath in a light blue (the bridesmaids wore navy blue). Oh, if I could only do it over again!!!
Strangely enough, my daughter approved my choice of this dress. My good friend also approved it prior to the wedding. Now, when I tell them how remorseful I am with this choice, they don’t want to talk about it.