Mother of the Bride

12 Dos & Don’ts For Buying Mother Of The Bride Shoes

Finding the right shoes to wear to your daughter or son’s wedding is a challenge. You want your shoes to be beautiful, elegant, and classy, but it’s going to be a long day, so they need to be comfy too. Here are 9 Do’s and Don’ts for picking and wearing the perfect pair of Mother of the Bride shoes.

1. Do Choose a Feminine Shoe

A wedding is a gala affair, so stay clear of heavy, clunky shoes that weigh you down or belong at the office. For example, boxy or squared-toe shoes do nothing to elongate your leg and are best left to more casual outfits. This romantic event calls for an evening shoe that is lightweight and delicate.  Choose a refined shoe with a pointy or round toe and a slender heel above all feminine and pretty. Stacked heel, lucite heels have a Cinderella quality, so they work well too.


2.  Do Dump the Idea of a Dye-able shoe

Perfectly matching the color of your shoes to your mother of the bride gown looks very dated. Plus, dyed satin shoes are not water-resistant and can bleed if your feet get sweaty or you spill a drink on them. Instead, choose a shoe color that coordinates with, not matches, your dress. For example, a shoe that is one shade darker than your dress would work fine.

Neutral shades are elegant and work best with a colorful dress. This includes metallic shoes in gold and silver tones.  Champagne, a soft, light gold, is very popular all year round. In the fall, bronze and smokey pewter can also work too.  If your dress is black, a simple black shoes will look best.


3. Do Buy Shoes That Fit Perfectly!

Too many women fall in love with a shoe that’s a half size too big and end up stepping out of it. Or, they buy a size too small, hoping they’ll be able to ignore the pain. You can’t. If you can’t get the store to locate it in the correct size, move on, and choose something else!


4. Don’t  Sacrifice Quality Because of Price

Well-made, comfortable shoes are worth paying a little more for since they have more padding. Scrimp on less essential things. (We won’t tell anyone those earrings are faux-pearl!)


5. Do Consider Weight

The weight of the shoe should echo the weight of the fabric.  If it is a winter wedding and your dress is a heavier fabric, a closed-toe shoe is best.  In warmer months, a sandal or peep toe is perfect.

6. Don’t Wear Shoes You Can Fall Off

The two worst shoes for falling off of are backless mules and shoes with very high heels. Mules aren’t comfy anyway, and five-inch stiletto heels will give you rolled ankles and swollen feet if you are not used to wearing them. Four inches is the maximum you should go. It would be pretty embarrassing to take a tumble.


7.  Don’t Wear Thin Straps

First of all, be careful about choosing a shoe with too many straps because straps don’t provide much support, and you could end up wobbling around in them all night.  Second, thin straps are notorious for digging and cutting into your foot. No want needs that kind of pain during such a special event.

8.  Do Add Foot Padding

It’s a long day, and there’s nothing worse than tired, sore feet.  A little cushion at the ball of your foot or extra padding at your heel can help you keep your feet feeling much comfier.  You also might want to have your cobbler put some non-slip rubber on the soles of your shoes. This will prevent slipping and keep your shoes from being scuffed. Let’s make sure the limo, not the ambulance, is what transports you from the ceremony to reception!

9.  Don’t Stress Over Trying to Match

Trying to match your dress to your shoes, or your shoes to your evening bag, is old school. It was popular 20 years ago, but today it looks boring and will date your outfit and age you. It’s much more modern to get shoes and a purse that complement each other, not match perfectly.

10.  Do Test Drive Your Shoes Before The Wedding

We know that formal shoes are not known for being comfortable, but there is something you can do to keep from limping around by the end of the day. Break your new shoes in by walking around and going up the stairs in them. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself at the reception looking for a bandaid because you have big blisters.


11.  Don’t Change Into Rubber or Plastic Flip Flops During the Reception, or Even Worse, Go Barefoot

You might want to have a second pair of shoes on hand, with a lower heel, ready to slip on after walking down the aisle and the photos are finished. But remember, the dance floor is not a dormitory shower or the boardwalk. Change into a lower-heeled formal shoe if you must, but respect the formality of the event.

Mother of the Bride Ebook

12. Do pick up a copy of my e-book Tweak Your Chic- Mother of the Bride

It’s jam-packed full of ideas for shoes, dresses, and accessories to wear on the big day to Look Fabulous after 40 at the Wedding!

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15 thoughts on “12 Dos & Don’ts For Buying Mother Of The Bride Shoes

  1. Son gets married in September just picked my dress, it’s cobalt blue, the bridesmaids are in black, the mob is in ivory and pale pink dress, what color of shoes, etc. should I go with?

  2. I am the bride’s mother wearing a long plum dress. The wedding is in Oct. I have issues with my left foot swelling. I have RA Having such a hard time finding a shoe I can last all evening in. Also, what color to get? Any suggestions? After a while, they start looking similar, but I like the comfort.

  3. My stepdaughter is getting married on Sept/5/202; I’ve had to return two dresses and decided to stay in the purple dress. Her mother is wearing gray, the MOTG is wearing taupe, and the bridesmaids are wearing peach. Please, am I wearing the right color? I’m trying to be respectful here for the MOB and MOG. It gets so confusing.


    1. Hi Tammie,
      I think more important than the color of the dress is the style of the dress. For example, Are the NOB/MOG wearing short skirts? Then don’t wear them long, or you will look like you are trying to outdress them. Is your dress detailed or sparkly, or ornate compared to theirs? I would choose something elegant and classic with just a touch of detail. You can never go wrong with this understated look, and it will make everyone feel non-threatened. If you are worried about the color, navy is always a beautiful and safe choice. I hope that helps.
      Best Wishes.

  4. I am looking for an elegant but wide dress shoe for my daughter’s wedding. I have a comprehensive, small foot (6M), and most shoes are cut across the bone chip on my small toe and my bunion by my big toe, so I cannot wear sandals. Can you help?

  5. I am a mother of the groom, have a bespoke bottle green outfit, and am looking for complementary shoes and handbags; I am well over 40—wedding in January. I have trawled the net and am anxious to find the right comfortable shoes.

  6. Help! My son is getting married next month! Can you please share ideas for the groom’s mother for the April wedding? Something that won’t break the bank? The bridesmaid is wearing pink, and the bride’s mother is wearing gray. Thank you!

  7. My son recently got married, and I found THE most comfortable shoes! I have a narrow foot and two ankle surgeries, so finding comfortable and stylish shoes is a real challenge. Although these shoes are the most expensive I’ve ever bought (other than boots), they are timeless and something I can wear for many other things. The bride’s mother suggested them, and we both had the same shoes. It was a black tie wedding, so our shoes weren’t even seen, but we both lasted the entire day and night WITH DANCING!

  8. Dyeable shoes are unstylish and awful! Much better to have a contrast or nude. Much more stylish

  9. Dyeable shoes are an excellent idea for a bride’s mother, and they don’t have to be dyed in the same color. The inside is not typically stained; you can use a water protector spray so they do not bleed on your skin.

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